Big All Day Everyday!

Just when you thought you final found a small footing in the crazy, blood-alcohol level raising, breakneck  paced Tokyo,  just when you thought you found a bit of intellectual safe haven from the consistent mind-fuck of Japanese culture, just when you thought you figure things out...they do shit like this to you.

Two words.

BIG AMERICA.

I go to college in America. I got exposed to my fair share of American culture. I ate McDonlads, more times then I care to admit. Then I came to Japan and I just don't know anymore. The comfort that I took in knowing that I knew my McDonald menu inside and out was blown away by the that bitch-like frosty december wind. Nothing is certain in this world anymore.

Waseda McDonald

So there I was on the train, minding my own business, trying not to get myself squished between a salaryman who looks like he hasn't slept in three days and another salaryman who looks like he is about to mow down everyone who touches him, and it hit me. No. It slap me senselessly across the face.

*Not the Actual Ad*

It was a picture of sorts, with a pictures of a type of food that I once knew. No. It can't be. I won't let it be... The picture reminded me of a McDonald's burger. HOLY SHIT! It is an McDonald's burger. The dies are casted and I was on my way to McDonald.

First of all, the Big America campaign happened last year and maybe the year before. It was the single cause of the rise in blood pressure, cholesterol and poor performance at school in the year 2011. Why they have continue it this year is beyond me. (Sarcasm) McD will release one limited edition burger that is related to a location in America once in awhile. This year's line up features four important all American heritage site. The Grand Canyon, Bad ass! Las Vegas, Bad ass! Boardway, Hells yea! Beverly Hills!.... Yeah. Someone send McD Japan a letter telling them to hire an Authentic Loud American Gaijin who is not going to put Beverly Hills amongst the noble ranks Grand Canyon.

Bam! Here is the Burger.

 Well this is more like a teaser. I bet you want to undress this bad boy/bad girl depending on your perspective. Well I shall grant you the view pleasures.

BAM!

OOOOOOOO! DAMN! Need I say more?

Now let's talk about the taste. I mean this is a food blog after all. The first bite was warm and soft. Kind of like a hot cup of chocolate and a big thing of cotton candy paradoxically merge together. However, this burger got so much depth you have no idea what you are eating. It has the form of a big mac. The patty of a McSausage, the Egg of McMuffin and the sauce of McPrimeRibs. However, the dried onion was a nice original touch.

Second bite, still confused but seeing the light. Third bite, epiphany.

You see, this burger is a perfect fusion between breakfast and lunch. In other words, femininity and masculinity. The egg express the voluptuous and soft form of a damsel. The meat express the hardcore, occasionally meat-headed frat boy. But both come together in a orgy of harmony and balance. In short, the taste was purely fantastical. Well, at least until the fifth bite. Then it got played out.

How this burger relates to the Grand Canyon is still a mystery to me, just like how the Grand Canyon was formed is a mystery to me. But one thing is for sure, McDonald churned out this burger as a proud idolization of the Big American way. To think of this campaign in any other light, such as a marketing gimmick for people to buy more burgers, is purely insulting.

Now, my fellow Americans and non-Americans, go forth and reclaim your country's heritage gaily and proudly! Seriously, go now before this burger joins the history books.

Keep an eye out for the next review on the Las Vegas Burger.